People have different ideas “how to overcome on emotional (or any kind of) rejection?”
I think sharing different opinion might help others to find out what is good for them. That might inspire them to find out their own solutions regarding overcoming on rejections.
Some people will say self-development will help you to overcome on rejections. I do not think that needed when you get rejected by others.
In some cases, self-development good, but in others no. Saying that you need it, because you have been rejected will only strengthen your feelings that you are not good enough as a person for others, which is not true.
You are enough, even if they reject you. However, that means you need to search further.
Hopefully, you understand that 8 billion people are living on this whole big Earth. This means different people and different opinions. You cannot match with everyone.
Find those people whose life view and opinions are matching with yours.
That is why it is a clever idea to remember for the following sentence:
- take rejection as a redirection.
Feelings during and after rejections
Rejections cause us to feel a range of different feelings for example we can feel
- anger, guilt, hurt feelings, jealousy, loneliness, shame, social anxiety, sadness etc.
According to the “Emotional responses to interpersonal rejection” article written by Mark R. Leary, PhD
“A great deal of human emotion arises in response to real, anticipated, remembered, or imagined rejection by other people.”
Rejections happen in many kind of form. For example as
- romantic rejections, or
- dissolution of a friendship,
- ostracism by a group,
- estrangement from family members.
- You can be ignored or excluded in casual encounters, or
- getting fired from your workplace.
Those rejections have different emotional, psychological, and interpersonal consequences. To understand more about the emerging emotions regarding the various stages I recommend you read the article, which get into in details what can you feel regarding rejections.
Take rejection as a redirection to find your way
- Have you ever been rejected?
- How did you feel?
New survey reported in an article from FastCompany that job seekers got 6 to 10 rejections averagely before lose confidence. According to the article the pain points were the following:
- The average respondent started losing confidence in themselves after the fifth rejection;
64% ended up pivoting on the type of job they were applying for after losing their confidence. From those 64 % more than half of it around 36% started therapy, 34% stopped job searching altogether, and 30% went back to school.
However, giving up is not a promising idea as 75% of job seekers said they now have their dream job, but took three months to find it according to the article on FastCompany.
From bad feelings to inspiration
So, do you remember how did you feel? Not good, but that does not mean you are not good enough or you are not whole as a person.
It means you have been trying where people not appreciated you well enough. It means you need to find people who appreciate YOU for who you are.
That could inspire you to change, but you do not need to change just to be accepted and it does not mean you need to develop yourself to be someone whom you are not. It means you need to be yourself and find the places and people who feels good FOR YOU and if you have not found them then search further.
You are not the only one who does not find the place & people you fit in the first time, but that does not mean you have to stop yourself from searching. You just need to find people and circles you are fit in and not giving up.
This could take for days, other times weeks or months, and in some rare cases years.
Sometimes you need to develop, but not to be another person, but to be brave enough to take the responsibility to get to know yourself and live the life you want and show the world who you are and be open for others. This means in some cases that you just do not find your circle whom you fit in and that is why people will not appreciate you as you are not like them.
Be who you are
does not mean you need to be LIKE THEM!
It means you can stay who you are. Stay in your place and create your own circle or move to another and be who you are and be appreciated there.
Totally disagree with people who think you should change who you are just to not to get rejected. That is a stupid idea. No!
If people do not like you, you can do whatever they expect you still they will not like by certain people. Be who you are and find what you like to do and be with the prople you like to be with, rather than restrict yourself and trying to fit into circles which are not for you.
Your worth can depend on the circumstances you are in
Unfortunately, that is true.
The same glass of water worth much on the airport, and more for people who are thirsty in the desert than for people who just open the tap and let the water run out from it at their home.
Your worth depends on your circumstances. This means your mood and value could depend on your circumstances too. If you do not feel yourself happy in your place or you are undervalued, then changing the place or circumstances or moving can be a promising idea.
Find out solutions how to overcome on rejections fast
Rejection is general. You don’t have to do anything just because you are/were rejected. You can’t fit with 8 billion people. Everyone is different. I disagree with people who tell work on yourself after (emotional or any kind of) rejections.
You & Every one of us are a unique imperfectly perfect individual already.
Work only on yourself to get over rejections faster because there will be several other times when it could happen in the future. Learning how to handle the situation, accepting, and get over it faster is a clever idea, but just to be better next time (that will help you in the future).
Find out a healthy way to get over it soon! (Not getting into depression, using alcohol or drugs.)
Self-development only the key when you want it, not when you faced with emotional rejections.
As I wrote previously You don’t need to develop yourself to be more accepted. Several times even if you work on yourself, you won’t be accepted by the same people who already rejected you, which means self-development in that case irrelevant.
Different things used to happen instead. You will realize what is good for you and realize those people who rejected you might not be good for you.
You don’t have to work on yourself to be accepted by people who will not accept you. Find people who will accept you. Rejection is not always about you.
Create your own circle
Sometimes feelings, emotions, actions, or reactions make people to reject you and not yourself or they have different boundaries or personalities etc. etc. etc. You just do not need to be them. Find your own circle and you will be fine.
Realising you are not good for everyone and in reverse
If someone makes you feel you are not good enough, then that person is not a good fit. Or not a good fit for your mood and happiness. You do not need to please people to get accepted. You do not need to be liked by them.
Find a circle where you feel yourself good and appreciated or create your own happiness and circle.
Be with those who appreciate you for who you are and does not want to change you.
Find solutions or/and learn how to get over on rejections fast
Last, but not least find ways to make yourself happy, and find out how to get over on rejections fast.
If you do not know yet how then learn from others or read experiences from others, but do not stick in the negative or sad stories. Grieve then move on as life moves on, so you need to move on too.
If you learn how to get over fast that can help you in the future as makes it easier later as you will have already that kind of life experiences and know how to get over on that situation faster.
Some people need psychologists to go through on a rejection, while others need some good days or weeks with friends, & doing what feels good.
Instead of separating and isolating yourself from people try to find people who understand you and with you and can help or cheer you up. Next to this find natural mood boasters like fruits or nuts, and physical exercises to get over on those situations fast etc.